New Seoul Generation.

My school

I'm really happy for you! ^_^ Wish I could say the same for me. v.v I'm not really looking forward to school. Cuz you know how chubby I am? Well, it's hard to look for shirts in my size especially ones that don't look like old lady clothes. I only have 4 shirts that look okay. The rest I would never take to school. It's depressing. I actually told my mom "hey mom all you have to do is buy me a new hoodie and I'm all good." I literally told her that. Like I could just zip it up and hide the shirts. That sucks like bad. But whatever. Thats my life.
I'm not saying that I accept it, but I will deal with it. 'When you settle for less than you deserve, you get less than what you settled for' <-- thats true.
So yeah... I found this app thats like photoshop, sorta. I'll post a pic of what I did with it. Oh, they're emo boys. Sexy emo boys. ^_ - I do not own the original photos. Oh, I've been getting better at drawing too. But for some reason I like drawing the outlines of faces. I'll post those too. My favorite is the last one. The second to last I want ti change the forehead line, thats why there is two lines. But I'm not sure. Oh, all of them are different ones that I drew. None of them are the same, at least I hope so. I really can't do the eyes or mouth or hair. Maybe you could copy the pictures and print them and draw the faces? It's just an idea. You know, I'm starting to give up on the idea of becoming a graphic artist or actually just stop drawing. None of my family pays attention. I was talking to my mom and I said "when I become a graphic.artist" and my brother joey says "you mean IF you become a graphic artist" I said no that I meant WHEN. and he kept correcting me. I thought to my self ' wow, thank you for supporting my dream'. I wanted advice for the drawings I posted and asked my dad what he thought and he just ignored me and said, "lisa just shut up about that crap." I got mad, like who are you to tell me.that what I believe in is crap? No one has.ever told me your drawings are awesome, your a good drawer. None of my family. Ever. It's made me cry before. TT_TT
I'm kinda scared right now. Two weeks ago I found like a bolá <- is that how you.spell it? It's on my neck on the left side like an inch away from my ear. It hasn't gone away. At first my dad thought it was because I was such with like a throat infection cuz it was on my lymphnodes or whatever. But my throat didn't hurt and I felt fine. The other day I was thinking about life and stuff, when a thought entered my mind. "what if it's a tumor?!" But my rational side thought it can't be a tumor, thats stupid. But the worried side thought but you never know, your not a doctor. I told my mom what I thought it might be and she told me "no lisa, don't think like that" with a worried expression. So neither of my parents have money to take me to the night clinic in mcallen. I still have a cough from months ago. Remember how I would randomly cough during school? Yup still have it. But it's not like an every day thing. But lately is worse. Like I cough once but it's so bad that I lose my breath and then when I cough again I'm choking because I couldn't breathe. It literally gives me a headache. Sometimes it's so bad that I almost.throw up. Just from coughing.
I'm the kind of person that constantly thinks about life and serious stuff everyday. It's weird because I can see myself at college but I can't see myself beyond that. No matter how hard I try I can see myself beyond that. It makes me think sometimes. T_T But whatever happens, happens. I'm just glad I met you and jubilee because you guys are my true best friends. ^_^
Yeah, so I guess i'll talk to you later. Peace.